Finding the Gifts in Loss - an article by Julie Umpleby, April 2013
never an easy experience to transition through. It doesn’t matter if it is loss
of a relationship, material possessions, health, loved ones, income or career.
Each event is a soul challenge that calls our attention to uncover aspects of
ourselves that were identified with whatever we have lost. Each circumstance is
an opportunity for growth, expansion and soul freedom. Allowing ourselves to
fully experience the pain of loss through the darkness of the grieving process
can reveal treasures and the gifts of deep inner transformation.
When I had
to say goodbye to one of my beloved pets, Smudge earlier this year, his
transition and the loss of his physical presence triggered not only a deep grieving
process, but sparked incredible spiritual insights that unfolded over the following
As a dear
friend of mine says, “Grief breaks everything down; all the old patterns
fall away as new visions open up. And we fall into that black space where we
find all the answers to our addictions (which come in many different forms).
While we gain amazing insights, it’s such a painful process”. And there is no
escaping it, it is painful until we achieve the realisations and emerge with
the gifts from those dark places. Surrendering to the process is the key.
My Smudge was a beautiful, gentle soul embodied in the form
of a gorgeous fluffy Maltese poodle. As the runt of the litter he chose to come
home with me along with his sweet sister, Millie. From that first day, he was
‘mom’s boy’ and Millie was ‘my angel’. For more than 14 years, they were my
constant companions and made it through a country move (South Africa to the UK),
6 months in quarantine kennels, diabetes and subsequent cataract blindness, and
4 house moves in the UK while blind. I never begrudged a moment of the time or
financial sacrifice needed to maintain their health and happiness. Fellow animal lovers will understand that
Smudge’s transition hit me incredibly hard in unexpected
ways and I knew he had catalyzed a much deeper healing process. As I simply let
go, allowed myself to surrender into the ‘dark place’ and gave permission for the
emotions to flow, I found myself connected to and confronted by multiple levels
At the first leveI, it felt as if I was accessing all the
unhealed grief from every loss ever experienced in my life. To put that into
perspective, I have over the course of spiritual journey had the rug pulled out
from under my feet many, many times. I gave up a beautiful home in South
Africa, relatively secure income and have subsequently had everything stripped
away – jobs, income, relationships, homes, my entire household (which had been
in storage), my purpose, confidence and in many cases, my faith and trust in
the Divine. Each time another challenge blindsided me, I had to deal with the
loss and dig deep to find a reason to trust that there was a meaning I couldn’t
see and this was somehow serving my soul growth. I was forced to look at every
situation and to recognize where my identity was tied into the situation preventing
from truly accessing who I was. Many
times I felt as if I had been unhinged completely from my old reality and had
to haul myself up from being a formless heap on the floor and restructure my
These events ultimately gave me access to the diamond and
insights into the layers of consciousness it represented, but I hadn’t healed
all the wounds. One of Smudge’s gifts was to catalyse the completion of this
At the next level of grief, I found I had tapped into the
collective grids and the unhealed grief of humanity. The key issue I found myself connecting with
was that moving forward through the transition requires us to collectively let
go, and to grieve the loss of the ‘old world’ in order to co-create the new
with our full power. The loss and grieving element lies unacknowledged in the
unconscious as we attempt to skim over what we deny or run away from. At the collective level, the loss of all that
is familiar, and the atrocities being perpetrated in our world cry out to be
embraced and healed.
Another quote that describes this so eloquently is, “Our
New True Lives are born in the murky mud of the sad, ugly world that is dying
away all around us. Just like lotus flowers, we plant our seeds deep into the
mud. We are the seeds of the New World. And in spite of some outer appearances,
this New World is being born, right in the midst of the chaos and devastation”(Solara,
As I touched these parts of my own as well as humanity’s sadness
I cried so hard I felt that my heart and mind would simply split apart. My
being softened and became what I can only describe as akin to marshmallow as I
simply allowed myself to flow with the emotional upwelling.
Over the weeks that followed, I experienced visions, dreams
and healing messages from my Higher Self, the insights began to emerge.
Smudge began appearing unexpectedly in a number of diamond
alignments. He would bounce in, healthy and with full vision and proceed to
draw my attention to areas with the client that needed attention and healing.
My first thought was that I was imagining things, until another Diamond Light
Grid practitioner mentioned unexpectedly that she had seen and experienced him
doing the same thing with her and her clients! I was overjoyed at this
beautiful diamond connection which did much to ease the pain of his physical
absence. However, what I realized was
the incredible extent of the soul contract with my pets. I saw very clearly how
their life, their disability and love for me had literally kept me on the
planet. In my serving of them and their needs, I was held and anchored in order
to fully embody the soul and the essence of the diamond. Without them, I would
not have brought the diamond work to fruition and this has been their ultimate
gift as true diamond souls – helping me to achieve balance and understand true
Through some of the darkest days, the only reason I could
find to get up in the morning was to ensure that they had their regular insulin
injections and supportive food. And while I saw that I was serving them by
attending to their needs, they were in fact serving me by ensuring that I
didn’t give up on myself. Through Smudge’s interventions, I was able to see
this with so much clarity.
Almost 2 months after Smudge’s transition I found myself in
a situation where I experienced another loss when my car was involved in an
accident. The sequence of events leading up to this was so bizarre that it
could only have been divinely orchestrated for all involved. I wasn’t driving
the car at the time, so was unhurt & ‘distanced’ in a sense from all that
happened. It is a separate and long story, however the outcomes were that I surrendered
to the process again, received the funds to purchase a replacement vehicle
(which is a shiny silver while me previous car was black – in diamond
symbolism, this represents the light being released from the darkness!). The driver of my car has undergone a HUGE
shift in her life since the accident and has enough awareness to see the
purpose in the events for herself too.
A few weeks after this incident, I awoke from a curious and
very vivid dream (which felt more real than a dream) where
I was standing looking down at Smudge’s bed. His bed is still here in the lounge as
Millie also likes to curl up in it from time to time. Sitting in front of
Smudge’s bed was a black and white cat & her fur looked wet as if she had
been caught in the rain. Sitting in the middle of Smudge’s bed was a tiny black
and white kitten (belonging to the mother cat sitting in front). They weren’t
doing anything, they were just sitting there, very still.
Smudge appeared standing next to his bed and he was facing away from me looking
through the doorway into the kitchen. Then he turned and looked at me &
although he wagged his tail, he looked a little sad. I was just so happy to see
him that I immediately picked him up and cuddled him, telling him how pleased I
was to see him and how much I loved him. I woke up with the softness of his fur
still tangible against my cheek.
The immediate symbolism & messages I took from this were
about rebirth (the kitten), balance (black/white), and new beginnings. I felt
this was about new beginnings for me as well as for the soul of my beloved
Smudge and that he was sad that all was moving on. I haven’t seen him in his
spirit body since that dream, but I know that he will be around to help his
sister over when it is her turn to go.
There have been a number of other insights during this time,
including profound understanding of the many difficulties and cumulative
‘losses’ over the past 11 years. It is akin to being elevated in order to see
the divine plan at work from a Higher perspective. My jourmey has meaning and
makes more sense.
One of the ‘truths’ I took from all of this, is that it
simply couldn’t have played out in any other way in order for me to learn and
experience the deeper purpose of life itself. Anything less would not have had
the desired impact.
individuals are experiencing loss in some way or another at the moment, and in
parting I offer you the following that it may help to ease your journey :
1. Don’t be afraid to surrender to the
pain and if you need to, ask for support to help you through. It takes courage
to allow yourself to be vulnerable and in doing so you will connect with the
authentic strength of your true essence.
2. Know that there is a purpose and
meaning in all the events, even if you can’t see it yet.
3. Don’t force the process – accept and
allow the transformation to happen in perfect and divine timing. You will
likely stumble, cry, throw in the towel a few times. Celebrate each small victory,
each good day, each tiny insight and above all, be patient with yourself!
4. Don’t distract yourself or think you
need to ‘keep busy’ in order to avoid the painful emotions. Sometimes being
still is the only thing we need to do.
5. Ask your Highest Self for assistance
in understanding which part of you was overly identified with whatever you have
lost. Realise you are not that with
which you have identified, and allow that which you are to make itself known and to emerge within you.
6. Be very aware of dreams,
synchronicities and subtle messages, and know that you are loved and supported
in so many ways as you seek to find meaning and purpose.
7. Know that there is ALWAYS a gift and
an opportunity for transformation through loss. Never stop asking for your own
insights – and then listen! Only through your own inner knowing does it become
meaningful and real for you.
As I stand in awe of the depth of the love in
the soul contracts not only with my dogs, but with all the precious individuals
that have graced my life, I extend to
you love and an honouring of the most profound journey you will ever undertake
- that which brings you ultimately back to yourself and to true wholeness.
Julie is an energy therapist and international teacher of a number of spiritual development and energy awareness programs. She is the founder of The Diamond Light Grid Alignment, a system of advanced vibrational alignments for restoring energy field integrity and a higher level of balance. The Diamond Light Grid facilitates spiritual growth and wholeness in a very down to earth, modern way with updated practices from the ancient world. . Julie also facilitates a number of hands-on Diamond development and other spiritual expansion workshops. For more information, please see : http://www.diamondlightworld.net
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